This past weekend i said goodbye to two very important people in my life, both my grandparents passed away within the past month. They have been with me throughout my entire childhood, watch me grow up to a young adult and beyond.
They have always been there for me --- through thick and thin, advocating all the good and defending me when i was being bad. They were there when i was born, up until a few years ago when grandmom's spiral downwards caused by her dementia made it impossible for her to stay here in MD alone-- she needed more care than we could give her plus she was in the midst of having crazy heart failure, so since my aunt was a cardiologist we sent her and my grandpa to live in Dallas. This set up the yearly visits -- when it was felt that my uncle and aunt needed weeks off from my grandparents, they got sent to various peoples houses. She would come and stay with us or my other relatives in Fl for a couple of months and then go back -- this would give my aunt and uncle time to recuperate from the months of having to take care of her. About 2 years ago, it got to be too much for even my aunt and uncle to handle and she was sent to an assisted living facility. While there she was well cared for, my uncles that lived in TX would often go and feed her and make sure she was ok-- i am ashamed to admit this but I have never been to visit her at the home -- partly because of life and because i believe in retrospect, i didnt want to see her all helpless and wheelchair bound. The grandmom i knew and still keep in my mind was spry -- would often cook for us, watch all my children and make sure we got all of our homework done. She was a champion knitter -- always knitting me a and my cousins a new sweater. Grandpa was stoic -- often very reserved but totally dependent on grandmom for survival-- he always was outside weeding, reading the history books, playing with learning chinese for his computer but he always failed at cooking (unless it was preserved peaches), laundry and the regular things that you would do in life. These are the grandparents that I know and loved... and will remember in my heart and mind.
As my cousin put in his eulogy --- conjugal bereavement may not be proven scientifically, but im my heart, I'll always remember that my grandmom left the world and possibly, quite possibly my grandfather just couldnt live anymore with out grandmom and decided that it was his time too. Glad grandpop didnt suffer but rather left the world quickly. Glad the hospital didnt resuscitate him so that his wish was heard.
So sorry to see the both of you go but it is what you guys wanted in the end... right?
They have always been there for me --- through thick and thin, advocating all the good and defending me when i was being bad. They were there when i was born, up until a few years ago when grandmom's spiral downwards caused by her dementia made it impossible for her to stay here in MD alone-- she needed more care than we could give her plus she was in the midst of having crazy heart failure, so since my aunt was a cardiologist we sent her and my grandpa to live in Dallas. This set up the yearly visits -- when it was felt that my uncle and aunt needed weeks off from my grandparents, they got sent to various peoples houses. She would come and stay with us or my other relatives in Fl for a couple of months and then go back -- this would give my aunt and uncle time to recuperate from the months of having to take care of her. About 2 years ago, it got to be too much for even my aunt and uncle to handle and she was sent to an assisted living facility. While there she was well cared for, my uncles that lived in TX would often go and feed her and make sure she was ok-- i am ashamed to admit this but I have never been to visit her at the home -- partly because of life and because i believe in retrospect, i didnt want to see her all helpless and wheelchair bound. The grandmom i knew and still keep in my mind was spry -- would often cook for us, watch all my children and make sure we got all of our homework done. She was a champion knitter -- always knitting me a and my cousins a new sweater. Grandpa was stoic -- often very reserved but totally dependent on grandmom for survival-- he always was outside weeding, reading the history books, playing with learning chinese for his computer but he always failed at cooking (unless it was preserved peaches), laundry and the regular things that you would do in life. These are the grandparents that I know and loved... and will remember in my heart and mind.
As my cousin put in his eulogy --- conjugal bereavement may not be proven scientifically, but im my heart, I'll always remember that my grandmom left the world and possibly, quite possibly my grandfather just couldnt live anymore with out grandmom and decided that it was his time too. Glad grandpop didnt suffer but rather left the world quickly. Glad the hospital didnt resuscitate him so that his wish was heard.
So sorry to see the both of you go but it is what you guys wanted in the end... right?
2 comments:
Aww. I'm so sorry MJ. I don't blame you for not wanting to remember your Grandma that way. And sometimes it's better if couples who have been together for so long aren't apart for long. I always tell myself everything happens for a reason.. it gives me comfort/solace when things make no sense. XOXO. My sympathy to you and yours.
I wish I had more memories of them to hold on to... At least you got those :)
Post a Comment